Come on! Let's Fly the Confederate Flag... If we want!*
Are monsters due on Elm Street? If you watched the Twilight Zone as a child or you just enjoy old television series like myself you'll remember the name of that episode. A mob of neighbors get whipped into a frenzy by aliens from outer space, only to kill and pillage their fellow friends. We only mention this to placate concerns that we are ill prepared to deal with similar false outrage. And aside from that, everything written below is all hypothetical conjecture. We consider most of it to be pure literary license, so any plans to "call us out" must be left at home. Enjoy and remember the asterisk at the top of the page corresponds to this disclaimer!*
We here at The Orlando Local News love Old-Glory above all flags. But we also like the Texas Flag, and the Kansas Flag, and the Missouri Flag. We even go for the Cuban and the Swedish Flags! Heritage is something we can all gather around, or least should.
Many of you wrote us recently to ask our opinion on the Marine Corps' decision to ban the Confederate Flag. Some told us they were happy to see the southern banner fall to the ash heap of history. One man wrote, "many are angered, saddened, even frightened by the flag." It is, he avers, an insult to blacks and a "reminder of one of the saddest chapters in US history....." Well, we like the Stars and Bars and the battle flag too. It's a beautiful symmetrical banner and it reminds of a lot of good times like watching the General Lee on Dukes of Hazzard, or tossing out Bill and Hillary's southern campaign buttons, or even listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd!
It's a symbol of harmless southern pride to millions and not intended by most invoking it as a symbol of hate. Sure, there are radicals everywhere, including in religions like Islam for example. But no one accuses all Muslims of being pedophiles just because Islamic texts claim Mohammed consummated one of his marriages with a nine year old.
Despite the Yankee invasion (tongue in cheek), Florida remains a southern state with strong ties to history. You may want us to tear down the Confederate Flag but what's next? Statues of Washington, Jefferson and Madison? Or maybe you'll ask us to abolish the names of places such as Jacksonville or Lee County, and tear out the pages of history from circa 1850 to 1875? No, thank God, we are all free. Oh wait, we aren't. If you're a Marine you'll be disciplined. If you're a neighbor you'll be exposed on social media. If you're at work you'll be fired! We should be free to show any light-hearted American flag we wish despite the up-tight snobs who think they belong as our moral overlords. Go ahead mob, boycott! But there's a lot more people who agree with me than with thee!
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